| THE BUFFALO GANG NEWS |
| Created, published, edited, and controlled by Phil Lombardo - whenever I feel like it, and not a minute sooner! |
| Aug 23rd, 2002 Meagan - is sporting her first loose tooth. She proudly wiggled it with her finger at Aunt Sharon's house last week for anyone who would dare to watch. Most were grossed out. Debbie refuses to perpetuate the “Legend Of The Tooth Fairy.” She claims to pay better. For more on Fairies, see the next story. Hurray For Meagan! |
| Volume 1 #5 - Aug 23rd, 2002 |
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| Featuring news, gossip, announcements, and just plain trash about the Lombardos & Micelis, their spouses, relatives and friends. |
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| Aug 23rd, 2011 Meagan & Eddie are getting ready to start high school in a few days. They'll be attending the brand new William Clinton High School, named after the President who made it possible for us to win the War On Terrorism with his "don't ask, don't tell" policy. This allowed gays to serve in the military, and enabled Lt. Gen. Gaylord Lightfoot to institute the "mass attack of love" on the terrorists. Lightfoot proudly stated later that The Beatles were right... "All you need is love." The youngsters stopped in at the Target store today for "AAA" batteries for their personal anti-gravity conveyance vehicles, and saw Grandma. She's still working there. If it weren't for the George W. Bush Depression of 02 through 06, she would have been retired by now. Grandpa couldn’t be found. All we know is that he left three years ago for Honolulu, and was never heard from again. Yea,Meagan & Eddie! |
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| Aug 23rd, 2021 Jessica became the first woman in American History to win three consecutive National Demolition Derby Championships, and all before her 21st birthday. She proudly said “I owe it all to my Grandpa. When I was small and demolished things, he never got upset. He just laughed and patted me on the head. I wish I knew where he was, so I could thank him.” When asked about Jessica’s accomplishment Eddie & Meagan replied that their childhood was ruined by Jessica since she wrecked everything, and they couldn’t care less. Eddie then left for Jupiter in his Star Cruiser with his Battle Droid before Jessica could locate him and demolish them. Meagan departed for New York, where she is up for her third Tony Award for her role as Queen Barbie, a tragic fictionalized account of the life of the beauty doll invented 70 years ago. Meagan does a great job simulating the agony of the anorexic in her gripping portrayal. Way To Go, Jessica! |
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| Aug 23rd, 2047 Phil Lombardo returned from paradise today. The one hundred year old Viet Nam Era Veteran, who lived homeless on the beach at Waikiki for years, returned via the new hyper jump transporter. The well preserved Lombardo stated “I owe my longevity to the absolute lack of stress I found in Hawaii, and lack of telemarketers to upset me.” The highlight of his homeless adventure was the 100th anniversary of the Pearl Harbor Attack 6 years ago. During the ceremonies he was able to panhandle thousands of dollars from other veterans. This became a fortune when the economy collapsed shortly thereafter, and cash was the only valuable personal asset recognized by the World Economic Council. This made his thousands worth millions because almost nobody else had any cash. Lombardo became a leading citizen in Honolulu, purchasing homes and turning them over to other veterans to live in rent free. The seemingly ageless Lombardo left for parts unknown within hours of his return. We wonder if we'll ever hear from him again. Probably! Good Luck, Phil! |
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| News Of The Past, Present & Future! Due to a lack of contributions from anyone this week, I am publishing the News of The Past, Present, and Future. Enjoy! |
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| Today's Quote "The War on Terrorism was the FUNNEST war ever waged!" MSgt. Marion Francis Puckerbutt (US Army, Retired) Leader of US Army Rainbow Council, and proud designer of the Rainbow Beret made popular during the war. |
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| Aug 23rd, 1952 Phil Lombardo - is getting ready to start kindergarten in a few days. He'll be attending PS #1, Buffalo's oldest school. He says that he's "really looking forward to school" so he can show the teacher (Miss Beale) "how much more than her I know." Good Luck, Phil! |
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